My favorite thing to do while On The Job here at the A2SO is to write nonsense about some of our favorite dude composers for your entertainment/consideration.
You know how sometimes (most times) people look like their dogs? I’m taking this concept and applying it to matching ten composers with animals that look like them.
I present to you: Famous Composers and Their Animal Counterparts.
No. 1 | Schubert as an African Clawed Albino Aquatic Frog
Honestly, I’m having a hard time identifying all of these composers with animals other than frogs because, well, they all look like amphibians to me. I must think harder, but I’m gonna give it to this guy because it’s just too uncanny.
P.S. I actually owned one of these frogs in middle school! He jumped out of his tank and I found him deceased under my bed–but it was fun while it lasted.
Check out the most aquatic thing the Schubster ever wrote–the “Trout” Quintet:
No. 2 | Haydn as a giraffe
Here’s to our guy Haydn! Pretty average looking ancient, white, composer of music, but there is something about his jowls that screams giraffe to me. Along with the long face and pensive gaze, they are a perfect match.
Nothing captures the stately majesty of this perplexing animal (part horse? part zebra? part skyscraper?) than the first movement of Haydn’s “London” Symphony:
No. 3 | Brahms as a hedgehog
Could you see the above man scuttling around in the grass, eating slugs and millipedes? Because I can.
The Hungarian Dance no. 13 is definitely a musical salute to this spiky boi:
No. 4 | Debussy as a bear cub
Look at this adorable man. The eyes, the fuzzy brown hair, the sleepy demeanor (hello, “Clair De Lune”); it must be reincarnation.
Cuddle tunes for bear cubs by Claude:
No. 5 | Liszt as a flamingo
My main man, Liszt. For me, this one is about the bone structure (iconic) and bodily lankiness. Two peas in a pod.
“Un Sospiro” perfectly captures the awkward grace of this avian curiosity:
No. 6 | Stravinsky as a ground shark
Stravinsky, to me, exudes a lot of intensity and fear at the same time. Ground sharks, especially the one above which seems to be screaming, really emulates the same energy.
Forget the Jaws theme; this is the original shark attack track:
No. 7 | Rossini as a turtle
I think it’s Rossini’s perpetual expression of distaste and boredom that makes me identify him with a turtle. They both have the same permanent frown!
Turtle Tunes by Gioachino:
No. 8 | Berlioz as a squirrel
I saw this guy running around the Diag looking for scraps of food the other day! Just kidding. But both Berlioz and squirrels have the same look of “spent the day in a tree and then became disappointed and combative when the day ended unproductively,” no?
Equal parts frenetic and nutty, this music captures the spirit of these rodent friends:
No. 9 | Britten as a billy goat
I may be biased here because I love both goats and Britten equally, but they have the same facial structure and well-meaning expressions!
Legend has it that the first four chords of this interlude from Peter Grimes were inspired by the bleating of a billy goat:
No. 10 | Mussorgsky as a walrus
This man was a walrus. You cannot convince me otherwise.
Mussorgsky’s most walrus-y tune: